So....

I am having a difficult time getting myself back into church. After being inactive for the past few years it is very difficult for me to find the "will power" to start going back again. I know I want to, I know I need to, it is just so hard to actually start again. I keep telling myself this week I will go, but the week comes and goes and I still have not went. I hate this, while I was working on Sundays and could not go, I really wanted to go and even talked to my boss to try to figure out ways that might make it possible, but in the end she said no. Now that I have nothing stopping me why is it so hard for me to actually take the step and go?! I think on of the hardest things for me is that I do not really know anyone. I hate going to church ALONE when I know no one, I though once I started institute I would meet some people and feel a little more comfortable starting church, but I still do not know anyone, that is one thing I HATE about being so shy!!! On the up side I am going to institute so that is a start, but it is still not church. I have to say I do love my institute class though. My teacher is so enthusiastic and I love how after we read a section of scriptures he "rewords" it or tells a little story of his own and it really makes everything clear to me. Often times I have a hard time understanding what I am reading in the scriptures so having him tell it in his own words really helps me, and the fact that he is so excited about it makes me excited too! I have never read any of the scriptures all the way through on my own. Most of what I have read was in seminary when I was in high school and my Book of Mormon reader when I was a child, and though I remember some of the stories and lessons I really want to read them for myself. I love to read and I read all these books all the time so I thought to myself this is the next thing I am going to read! That is my goal for myself, I want to finish at least one of the scriptures by the end of the year. I'm not sure which one I should start with though, I think the New Testament because I love the stories in it but I'm not sure. Please any advice about trying to become active again or on where to start with the reading is greatly appreciated.